While I hesitate to reveal this account, I do so willingly for one reason and one goal; to help free others who are lost in the mystery of their own experiences and lost in the finding meaning of it. It is my hope that someone will benefit from my story.
In 2017, I walked away from a lucrative management position with a major outdoor industry company and set out to engage in something more fulfilling (though I did not know yet what that something was). I felt led to write a historical account that might help people better understand our past as a nation. While researching for my manuscript, I stumbled into many rabbit holes and had a number of “interesting” crumbs dropped into my lap. However, it was not until I stumbled onto a video (Age of Deceit) that I had my own personal world shaken to its core. In the video, I heard an account from Whitley Strieber and his abduction experiences. I nearly fainted as I listened to his descriptions of his experience in his books Communion & Transformation. What did all this have to do with me personally? For that, we must time travel.
In the spring of 1997, I became saved by the grace and blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. However, I—like so many had no mentor or anyone to guide me through my new faith. That fall I went to college as a theater major (Acting) where my subsequent years were heavy laden with new age spirituality hyper-homosexuality, and eastern mysticism. Some of the activities conducted during many of my classes were subtly substantially misleading at best, spiritually harmful—though I was not aware of it at the same. In January of 2000, I had an experience that to this day (almost twenty years later) I cannot explain. While sleeping in my girlfriend’s apartment one early morning, I had a dream. In this dream, I became possessed by……something.
I had never dreamt such a dream ever before. I awakened frightened and shaken. However, many moments later, I had calmed my self and struggled to return to sleep. I was not prepared for what would happen next. The entity that had robbed me of myself in the dream…took me over in reality…
Frightened and terrified do not come close. Eventually, the ‘experience’ would end but I would never be the same again. I struggled for years to make sense of what had happened to me in that room that day. I recounted what happened to my mother who I had always esteemed as the most spiritual person in our family and my rock of faith. She admitted to me that while my father attended seminary in Washington D.C. during their engagement days that he had attended several Church of Satan meetings while “researching a paper”. Whether this has anything to do with what happened to me that day I do not know. (But interestingly, I have since heard of the “lascivious” spirit that Solomon supposedly conjured up in the Testament of Solomon, chapter 71. What’s so curious is it claims to possess men, whom it cannot destroy, with a demon, who causes them “to devour their own flesh”… Every male in my immediate family (including myself) have chewed our finger-cuticles which was a habit begun from our Nana and her mother Nana Zeisloft (my father’s mother and grandmother). I just discovered this text less than two weeks ago.)
As I sat listening to his describing this phenomenon, I got absolute chills running up my spine. My event occurred on January 24th 2000. I dug out an old journal where I knew I had written the account of that day. The following description is what happened to me:
January 26th, 2000 (it had taken a couple days for me to process before writing)
THE EXPERIENCE
I had gone to bed that night late, and throughout the night had a dreams that were all unusual by nature. One dream I had dreamt involved my father and I at a dinner table. The subject or environment I can’t recall but I remember becoming angry towards my father because he wanted his way concerning the conflict. I “told him off” and he got up and left—end of dream. The following dream, I was playing tag with a young woman in my father’s old church. Her identity still alludes my memory. After I drifted back to sleep, I found myself in the rafters of a cross between another (or the same) church and a large theater-house. My girlfriend and I had just seen the musical 1776 (mostly male cast) that night. There was one man on the floor (of the stage) calling places for each character in the show on an individual basis. (Not the way it usually works) I was looking down at this “stage manager” and other members of the cast (all male) whom all stood 20-30+ feet below me (in the rafters). As I began to worry about where I was, I started looking around for somewhere I could go to be ‘in place’ when my characters name was called out. I then spotted this 3 ½ - 4 foot tall glass door and I knew that that was where I was supposed to be. I crawled over to it and could see inside the door lay a small cubicle. The walls were white and the glass door had a small wooden boarder around it. The cubicle was approximately 4 foot in depth, 3 and a half foot wide, by 4 feet in height. I looked and saw that there was a 2 ½ - 3 ft. gap between the rafters and the landing of the cubicle. I cannot remember if the door had been opened or closed when I first saw it. I stepped over the gap and into this cubicle. Sat down, crossed my legs (Indian style); at that moment when I sat down & the man on the floor called out my character’s name (which I don’t know or remember) I felt an energy explode & fill me like water rapidly filling a glass. It felt like a thousand fireworks exploded within me simultaneously. As the presence of it infected me to its peak, my eyes grew inhumanly wide. With these huge eyes that within a second were not mine or under my control, I looked very slowly at the men on the floor who were once ignorant of my presence in the rafters were looking at whoever/whatever I was. With two very stiff fingers (index & middle) it pointed and pressed against this glass door, it slowly pushed the door open. Looking at the men it opened my mouth and in a voice I had never heard from myself that was an eerie, ear-piecing, but not high in pitch and somewhat nasal voice, “Hello there.” “You know who I am?”
ALIEN ABDUCTION
What remained so peculiar about my experience is, for a long time, I did not know what to make of it. I had heard about sleep paralysis and the scientific explanation of what the body and mind are capable of however the details (as you will read in a minute) and timing just did not satisfy. You can imagine my astonishment then while listening to Whitley Strieber’s detailing of his abduction experience and my shock and horror realizing what he was describing was—for the first time ever, over eighteen years later—the exact same thing that had happened to me. It makes no sense until one realizes that the two (alien abduction/demonic possession) can be (or are) one in the same. I had never seen or experienced any “extraterrestrial” before or since that morning. But as I heard Strieber utter these words, the color must have left my face. This is his account of his alien abduction, “I became entirely given over to extreme dread. The fear was so powerful that it seemed to make my personality completely evaporate… ‘Whitley’ ceased to exist. What was left was a body and a state of raw fear so great that it swept about me like a thick, suffocating curtain, turning paralysis into a condition that seemed close to death…I died and a wild animal appeared in my place.” (Communion, p. 25-26) I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Someone was describing—exactly!—what I had felt that day all those years ago.
Then, in a later book called Transformation he wrote, “Increasingly I felt as if I were entering a struggle that might even be a struggle for my soul, my essence, or whatever part of me might have reference to the eternal. There are worse things than death, I suspected… so far the word demon had never been spoken among the scientists and doctors who were working with me… I felt an absolutely indescribable sense of menace. It was hell on earth to be there [in the presence of these entities], and yet I couldn’t move, couldn’t cry out, couldn’t get away. I’d lay still as death, suffering inner agonies. Whatever was there seemed so monstrously ugly, so filthy and dark and sinister. Of course they were demons. They had to be. And they were here and I couldn’t get away.” (Transformation, p. 181)
I—at hearing/feeling that voice—was aware there was an evil inside me that was not expected. I became frightened and horrified. I told myself to wake up in the hope of it all just being a dream…. I opened my eyes… it was just a dream. <wheew> I was back in bed with my heart still racing from when I had heard the voice. I became calm & at peace at the realization of it just being a dream. I rolled over from my stomach onto my back. Closed my eyes. Started to feel myself slip back into a slumber when I felt the presence from the dream fill my body with just as much quickness and efficiency. I opened my eyes at the first awareness of it. I was in the bed. I was laying on my back in bed. It felt as if my whole body was stretched out and pressed down into the mattress. How could this demon from my dream cross over from my subconscious into reality? It made no sense. But it was 100% real! My eyes were opened big in fear again, yet they didn’t feel like mine like before. I only existed in the immeasurable depths of my mind. A tiny small voice inside of a huge cathedral. I knew what was inside me even though it never revealed itself to me for the 20 ¾ years I have been on this earth. I was being possessed.
RESCUE
I tried to speak the piece of scripture I had always (growing up a pastor’s kid) held close to my heart, Psalm 23—but couldn’t find any of the words. At my loss, I found that not only could I not open my mouth, I couldn’t even feel my mouth. I tried to cry out for my girlfriend who lay next to me fast asleep. I tried praying in my own way pleading the Lord to rid me of the powerful presence inside me. My prayer as I tried to find the words felt like it was being battled with the presence who fought to keep that voice inside my head mute.
I began to recall the Lord’s prayer. I said it as fast as I could inside myself, when I reached the part “…and deliver us from evil…” I found myself repeating that over & over & over “Deliver me from evil!” “please oh Lord—deliver me from this evil presence”.
As I made my plea, I very slowly felt the tight grip on the nap of my neck release, hold, release, & hold again. I could feel a battle being fought. I repeated the line from the Lord’s prayer. Like sands falling from an hour glass, the presence floated out of me. I could feel my body again and my inner voice became bigger and louder. My heart, which I could not feel earlier was beating faster than that of a small bird. I thanked and thanked and thanked the Lord for coming to my rescue. I, still in a great deal of shock, began to become confident that whatever was inside me was gone. This experience was very fresh and weighed heavily on my thoughts in the day that proceeded my getting out of bed. An experience I pray never happens to me again. No one should ever have to feel fear of that magnitude. Ever get lost as a child? Know that horrifying fear that overwhelms you? THAT, is just a small degree of the terrifying fear I had felt that morning……”
To this day I am haunted by that dream and that partial-possession, sleep paralysis, whatever you want to call it. Sleep paralysis can explain some of it but not all. Since hearing Whitley’s account I have read Chris Smiths book Sleep Paralysis and that has also served to confirm my deepest suspicions of what may have happened that day, though it is still somewhat shrouded in mystery. Though I have had many similar trace-dreams I have never had anything like it since.
Seeing the movie the Exorcist in my twenties was startling as the only voice I have ever heard like the one from my dream was the voice of the demonically possessed girl from the film. The latest dream I have had was approximately three months ago when I dreamt I had seen 3-4 very tall luminescent blue beings walking several hundreds of yards away from me when I spoke, they stopped (they were walking very slowly with the same gate as the cloners from the star wars prequels), and turned their faceless heads toward me when I began to levitate into the air slowly but increasing enough to fill me with a sense of fear. I simply knew whatever it was was trying to “take me”. As I climbed ever higher, and higher still—being level if not above the Bitterroot Mountain peaks by my home, I began to pray ardently for Christ to end the experience. I woke up and prayed for peace for the rest of the morning. I have learned to start praying more when plagued by such dreams.
I don’t know how any of this could be of any assistance to others. But if my story can help bring understanding than so be it. I have never felt my spiritual self squashed down to the smallest speck of my being while something else toyed around with my physical.
I will be soon (as soon as my manuscript is finished) going through my old college files as I am suspicious if a particular acting exercise (while playing King Claudius in Hamlet) may or may not have correlated in the timeline of events. This particular exercise consisted of me going into a blacked out basement classroom with the objects strung out everywhere. Per the professor’s instruction, I had to (in my blinded state) make it to the other side and back. He had my classmates play the role of “little demons in the dark” taunting, harassing, and toying with me—psychologically—the entire time. I do not know what to make of it but I am nearly certain the two happened relatively within the same six-ish months of one another. The best way to lose, mislead, and destroy a newly saved Christian is to send them to an American college campus.
May God bless those who read this story, as I am still somewhat lost about what it all means, why it happened, and what I am to make of it.
BUY
Whitley Strieber (3 Book Set) Transformation, The Secret School, Confirmation
Age Of Deceit: Fallen Angels and the New World Order
