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Why I blamed God for my pain

Pain is a terrible thing, but when you have been steeped in the mire of it for your whole life, it becomes a life force of its own. Pain has owned me, had power over me, and commanded me. It has nurtured me and taught me the foundations on which to build my life: suffering, torture, mistrust, hate, revenge, control.


From the time I was very young I was under the grips of pain; it was truly all I ever knew. While all babies only want tender loving care and affection, all I received was hatred and admonishment. How can a little baby not be good enough to be loved? How can a young girl be despised for being a sinner? Yet that was what I was told, day in and day out.

I had to have the sin punished out of me because sin is evil. Yet somehow, no matter how much “correction” I received, I could never be good enough to be loved. However much my parents family and church punished me, it was made clear that not only was it for my own good but because God demanded it. Bible verses were always quoted with punishment to drive the point home that all this was by God’s own will.

There were times when I believed I could please this far away from God of judgment and doom, but for the most part, I gave up the idea there was hope for me to be a good girl. I was inherently evil, born that way, with no hope for salvation. Why bother to even try?

So when they presented me with the option to chose to worship Lucifer instead, who came to me as an angel of light, the choice was obvious. The far away from God who brought me pain or the god who came from the sky and told me he loved me no matter what. I didn’t understand the concept of good vs evil, I only understood I was evil and this god was good.

I began to believe the God of Lies. I believed he was the one true God who loved me, while the punishing God from church hated me. I renounced Jesus easily with those beliefs and never looked back. I worshipped Lucifer and his kingdom because I was told it was the only way out of pain and condemnation. To a young child, logic is what you see displayed in front of you; you don’t have linear thinking.

As I grew older these events and beliefs began to shape the way I saw myself and the world. If I am evil, and God is evil, then the world must be evil. There is no hope to get help or be saved because even those that promise to help you only bring you pain. Therefore, pain is your only friend, so if you can control pain by manipulating the world around you, it’s your only hope of safety.

As I grew into my late teen years I finally had enough of pain, and I was done with life. I continually tried to take my own life with no success. I was desperate to find a place where I could be free of the constant pain of internal torment I felt, but there was no way out. That is when I decided that the only way out was to completely deny God existed. If God no longer existed, I was free to create my own reality, in which I was in complete control.

God became “the universe” a source of power and strength that each of us can draw on. Everyone could be equal under that kind of power and life could be fair. I could be my own boss and no one would ever own me again. I went on a search for power and control through witchcraft and the occult so I could ascend into higher levels of being. I was desperate to control my life, but no matter how hard I tried my life was constantly in a state of chaos. I was out of control.

There was only one thing I knew for sure in my life; I was never, ever going to have anything to do with that “Christian God” or Jesus. Jesus was a liar and a thief and the God of the Christians was evil. He caused all of the pain for my life. He manipulated me to control me and bring me misery. He was hateful, vengeful, and punishing. I vowed to never again allow Him into my life, and I developed a vehement hatred of Christianity.

My hatred for Christianity was so strong that when my 10-year-old son came home with a Bible because he made a Christian friend from our neighborhood, I mocked it and told him to never believe the Bible because it’s full of lies. That is how strongly I was entangled in the devil’s web.

What I didn’t understand all that time was all my pain and torment was never from God. Jesus did not stand by and watch me suffer, nor did God command the church to punish an innocent little girl. The only god that hates me is Lucifer because he has exalted himself as the God of This World. He is not the True God, because he is not eternal. He is a created being who is going to pay a severe price for what he has done to me, and every else like me.

I know it is hard for some people to accept that God is a loving God. They have had their share of pain and suffering and it seems like a God of love wouldn’t allow these things to happen. Especially when it happens to people who clearly don’t deserve it. I could stay in that way of thinking so easily because I have seen more than my fair share of pain. However, I believe that what Lucifer meant for evil, God used for good.

God has used all my pain and suffering over the course of a lifetime to mold and shape me into a strong and courageous warrior for His army. Instead of being kept in slavery to Lucifer, I have been redeemed by the blood of Christ. My story was already written before I was born, but I chose to look at the good of it instead of the bad.

I have a good God who is a loving Father. He did not stop me from being violently perpetrated, but He stood with me in the midst of it and helped me live through to see another day. While the devil would have taken my life or my sanity, Jesus stood in the gap, protecting me in ways I could never understand. My life is valuable to God, but even if He had allowed me to die, that would have never diminished my value to Him.

We cannot always understand the ways of God and why the devil has run rampant in our lives but we have to learn to trust in Jesus anyway. If we could understand God and why things happen the way they do, then we would be missing out on valuable opportunities for spiritual growth. We would not boast in our weakness as we learn to rely fully on God, but instead, we would shun him, taking up His place on the throne of our heart. What kind of life would that be?

I have come a long way from that little wounded girl who hated God, but before I could heal I had to first acknowledge that the poor little girl who was so hurt was still inside of me. I had to be gentle with her, giving her a lot of grace as I tried to understand that I still had a lot of anger at God for what happened to me. We all have wounds that we have carried around inside of us for a lifetime, and it is time to stop ignoring them and start giving them over to Jesus.

Jesus wants to carry us through a season of despair while we allow Him to shine a light on our hidden inner worlds where we have cultivated hatred of God. Not everyone has one, but many, many people do, and God is not mad at them for it. I know, because when I finally came face to face with the truth that as a Christian I still had hatred for God, I also came face to face with enough grace and mercy to cover all of my sins.

God is not mad at you. He loves you. He is a good Father. He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and patience. He has been walking with you through all of this in unseen ways because His Spirit has been nurturing your spirit. Come home to the Father’s love and let Him wash you in the healing balm of His grace. It’s time.

Source

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Drugs Alcohol Psychics and Ouija Boards

Psychics or people with intuitive abilities are often incredibly sensitive. When we head onto the spiritual path, we wake up, we gain clarity, we become more connected to spirit. But on a daily basis alcohol and drugs can impair your connection with your internal guidance. It also can cause you to let down your guard and be susceptible to other entities. Many, many spiritual leaders and psychics have repeatedly carried the message that alcohol and drugs can interfere with psychic abilities and in fact can cause a form of possession.

Ouija Boards can be effective in connecting to the other side, but the real issue comes from how they originated. There are lots of dark magic tied to them, and they were used in very dark rituals. As these became tools of the darker forces they tried to get these dark magic tools into the hands of the public so people that didn't know what they were doing could conjure up darker spirits. People were unintentionally drawing in these spirits and strengthening the low vibrational beings  and making spiritual ascension much harder. Now these boards can be found in the gaming isle of most stores, and children, who are some of the most "intuitively open" beings have access to these tools. Ouija Boards are not toys and should only be used by those who absolutely know what they are doing.

When you bring a spirit forward using the Ouija Board, good or bad, you are opening up your space and allowing permission for it to exist. They can be stubborn, and not want to leave. These beings on the other side want to be heard, so they will "rush" the opportunity the Ouija Board provides. These beings generally reside in spirit, and not physically, and can intend to cause harm either by their own will, or implanting ideas in those around them by using a physical being to do "their" work. 

It is not just Ouija boards. There seems to be an epidemic especially among the young people of this generation being possessed or having entities attached to their etheric bodies. Any number of things can bring this type of attachment about such as drugs or alcohol. People diagnosed as having psychosis, who say they see or hear spiritual beings, all stem from addictions that open their personal space to the other side. Often this is written off as bipolar or depression, and treated with drugs that only make things worse. It seems like dark forces are preying on the young now more than ever.

A person going through such a crisis sometimes has been chosen as a natural medium by the spirit realm for a message that needs to be communicated to the physical world. Mental disorder, behavioral disorder of all kinds, signal the fact that two obviously incompatible energies have merged into the same field. These disturbances result when the person does not get assistance in dealing with the presence of the energy from the spirit realm. Heavy dosing with anti-psychotic drugs compounds the problem and prevents the integration that could lead to soul development and growth in the individual who has received these energies.

When someone is suffering in this manner their eyes are different, their facial complexion, their demeanour is different. They lose weight, their hands shake, their personality changes, they're paranoid, they're unreliable.

This person had insecure financial income in their life, they worked hard but their finances were going backwards, causing great stress and anxiety which led to doctors, drugs, self medicating and alcohol. They said they  'knew when they were there' (the bad people) because the person they were talking to would suddenly turn their head and look at them sideways. That's when they had to pretend to carry on as normal while planning a quick escape. They said they were followed everywhere, towns, cities, states. There was nowhere safe from the bad people. This person was already sensitive to the other side and now the other side had exploded into their world. They became very unstable. 
Deliverance is through Jesus Christ. Forget formulas and simply seek God’s presence. There are no magical formulas to use to conjure up miracles. Instead, miracles happen whenever you welcome God’s powerful presence into the situations you face. So don’t worry about trying to pray perfect prayers to convince God to do something miraculous in your life. Simply invite God to work in every situation in which you’re seeking miracles, and trust Him to do what’s best after you ask Him to intervene.

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A psychic's view of coronavirus

I get a lot of things are going on. My initial impression is that the PTW (Powers That Were) intentionally introduced this virus into the population. Why China? I see this chosen location for a few reasons. First, this is a huge power play on China. I cannot see many, if any, PTW are Chinese. This looks like a way to keep them weak and under control (scared). If China is somewhat under a bio attack, they will be submissive and rise to the occasion should the PTW call upon them. 
I also get that China is population dense. The ground zero point, a food market in Wuhan, was the perfect origin. This virus can spread from animals to humans, and this type of open market provided the opportunity to put infected animals in the middle of masses of people. I get that when this was released, the PTW didn't know what way the virus would mutate within humans, but they were confident that something would spread. 

 They also look to have been working on a development project for an immunization or treatment. I hear something about when a treatment or prevention is created, it is largely based on the "genus" name of the virus or bacteria that is the root cause of the illness. A true immunization couldn't be formed against it, but a close version with a fair amount of effectiveness could be based on the "genus" of the virus being released. I also get something about this was a way of being able to test the "genus" theory, and could be a big breakthrough for future diseases or illnesses. 

 The coronavirus is unpredictable. No one truly knew the extent of how far it would travel, or the severity of the illness. I see that they anticipated pneumonia to be as severe as it got. This virus can effect people very differently. Some people may feel like they have a bad cold, and recover on their own. They may not even get a fever. The cold resolves itself after a few days, and the person moves on. This person can then later infect others unknowingly. I see that is the situation that played out there. Someone was infected and had very mild symptoms. They didn't know to be checked, or that what they were dealing with warranted further action. This virus has been so blown up that people don't realize that you can have it and not even realize you are carrying it. The assumption is that you are in severe medical peril, but that isn't always the case.

 The virus is something to watch, and something to mitigate, but why so much fear? Is the fear warranted? Is the seriousness of this worse than the Bird Flu scare, H1N1, Zika or Ebola? Why is the media obsessed with adding to the panic? Yes we need to be aware this exists, and yes we need to take precaution, but is there a bigger agenda at play? 

 As I ponder the above question, I see a lot of working parts here. This looks like a VERY well played hand courtesy of the Powers That Were (PTW) as they take their last ditch effort of keep their control, and this was a plan they had devised decades ago for this exact moment (check out Dean Koontz, "The Eyes of Darkness".} Let me explain: 

  1. Making China submissive: This bio-weapon looks to have been released in China for a few reasons. They wanted to make sure China was put in their place. China has been accumulating lots of gold in hopes of being the next controller of the financial system, and the PTW could not have that. China was also buying up real estate and companies all over the world. The PTW wanted to make sure China could not rise or become even more powerful. The PTW want China to work for them, and not rival them.
  2. Taking out Trump: Trump has been running on the platform of the economy and low unemployment numbers. By having supply chains broken, people not working due to closures/illness and a shaky stock market at best, his platform looks to be weaker. This also opens up attacks for the Dems. (Watch for pathways for voter fraud with all the scares as well. "When you can't beat them, cheat them.")
  3. Crashing Markets: When the news of this pandemic first hit media, it didn't phase markets much. As time progressed, and closures occurred, people got scared. This opened up the perfect scenario to manipulate the market and slowly crash it before the elections. Again, making Trump appear weak and leading to number 4.
  4. Creating Pathway to world currency: With markets crashing and less faith in the dollar, new forms of currency are being introduced. As the fed makes money to help offset the costs being endured with the hardships, the dollar is further inflated, creating even more reason for alternate forms of currency that are "backed" by something. Note: The latest rumor is that the money can be a carrier for the virus (another reason people won't want to carry it.) This leads to the cashless society to "protect us."
  5. Creating Pathway to social healthcare: The costs of healthcare are higher than ever. By using this crisis to shed light on the costs of healthcare, and the idealistic way free healthcare would work, people start to envision a false reality of socialized healthcare being great.
  6. Forced immunizations: Big pharma stands to make a TON of money off this. Not only due to manufacturing test kits, they are being paid lots to come up with an immunization.
  7. Test of Control - How Far Do We Allow It?: Most importantly, this is a test to see how submissive and under what circumstance people will be controlled. If you implement enough fear and scare, what will people do? I foresee a false flag looming related to "gun violence." This is the most submissive this country has been in many decades, and if they want to take the guns, this will be their opportunity, and I see them really maximizing on it.
BUT... while the PTW are working on the above, Trump along with the "white hats" see their hand, and does one better. Whether you like these people (Trump and the "white hats") or not, Trump is a smart businessman, and the white hats won't give up. They always knows what there opponents are up to, and work to combat this. It started with forced resignations, plea deals, witnesses and gathering evidence. People have even distanced themselves from the throne to get out of the spotlight. I see Trump using quarantines and grounded flights (combined with a dash of fear) to make a move on prominent people. Stay tuned. This is just getting started! 
One of the most curious is the recent resurrection of a prediction by Sylvia Browne. In her 2008 book End of Days, Browne (who died in 2013) predicted that “In around [sic] 2020 a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and the bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments. Almost more baffling than the illness itself will be the fact that it will suddenly vanish as quickly as it arrived, attack again ten years later, and then disappear completely.”


 How to Combat Corona
1. Special Frequency programs (Deta-Elis).
2. Power Tube (Zapper).
3. The virus gets destroyed in the stomach, so rinsing with hot water and swallowing helps to reduce the severity.
4. Low power laser light devices, which cleans the blood
5. Ultra violet light devices
6. Colloidal Silver
7. Vitamin C in high doses
8. Miracle Mineral Supplement (MMS)

*Not useful are hand sanitizers, colloidal silver spray is much better.

Let me break down each one and give my impressions. Deta-Elis: I see this could be helpful if the person responds to the frequency. This device gives off a specific frequency, and helps to get the body back in harmony by getting the organs functioning at a healthy vibration. I get that if you chose to go this route, the organ to focus on is the liver. The liver is what needs the main support in fighting off this illness.

Power Tubes: I don't see this as effective as the Deta-Elis because it looks to be more of a neurological stimulator. Any pain or discomfort resulting from this illness looks to be caused from a muscular standpoint versus nerves.

Hydration: I see hydration helping because it keep the body flushed. If this virus enters the mouth (versus eyes) and stays there it can be absorbed into the lymph nodes. In this scenario both drinking fluids and also oil pulling (in the early stages) can be helpful. You may still experience some symptoms, but the severity looks to be lessened.

Laser Lights: I see this may support the immune system and promote it's function, but I get that other alternatives could prove being more effective.

UV Light: This looks to be a huge help. I see that UV light in general helps to boost the immune system tremendously and promotes faster recovery. UV light in general looks to help sanitize outside environments to reduce the spread in common areas (doors, mailboxes, cars, public transportation, parks, grocery carts corralled outside, etc).

Colloidal Silver: I hear a phrase that colloidal silver is "antibacterial and antimicrobial, but not necessarily antiviral." This can help you prevent getting things such as a cold, flu or sinus infection which lessens your immune system (helps you to stay strong). But, I don't necessarily see it preventing a viral attack.

Vitamin C: Vitamin C is always good. This is great way to improve your body's own defense system to combat any foreign element that made their way in.

MMS: I do see (for some people) this can be very helpful. Be cautious with this. A little can go a long way, and too much can be damaging (too strong). It does look to attack the virus, but if you use too much it can create too many toxins or byproducts of the virus being destroyed and overwork the liver.  


Source
Psychic Focus 2020
Sylvia Brown 2008
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Alien Abduction & Demonic Possession are One in the Same


While I hesitate to reveal this account, I do so willingly for one reason and one goal; to help free others who are lost in the mystery of their own experiences and lost in the finding meaning of it. It is my hope that someone will benefit from my story.


In 2017, I walked away from a lucrative management position with a major outdoor industry company and set out to engage in something more fulfilling (though I did not know yet what that something was). I felt led to write a historical account that might help people better understand our past as a nation. While researching for my manuscript, I stumbled into many rabbit holes and had a number of “interesting” crumbs dropped into my lap. However, it was not until I stumbled onto a video (Age of Deceit) that I had my own personal world shaken to its core. In the video, I heard an account from Whitley Strieber and his abduction experiences. I nearly fainted as I listened to his descriptions of his experience in his books Communion & Transformation. What did all this have to do with me personally? For that, we must time travel.

In the spring of 1997, I became saved by the grace and blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. However, I—like so many had no mentor or anyone to guide me through my new faith. That fall I went to college as a theater major (Acting) where my subsequent years were heavy laden with new age spirituality hyper-homosexuality, and eastern mysticism. Some of the activities conducted during many of my classes were subtly substantially misleading at best, spiritually harmful—though I was not aware of it at the same. In January of 2000, I had an experience that to this day (almost twenty years later) I cannot explain. While sleeping in my girlfriend’s apartment one early morning, I had a dream. In this dream, I became possessed by……something. 

I had never dreamt such a dream ever before. I awakened frightened and shaken. However, many moments later, I had calmed my self and struggled to return to sleep. I was not prepared for what would happen next. The entity that had robbed me of myself in the dream…took me over in reality… 

Frightened and terrified do not come close. Eventually, the ‘experience’ would end but I would never be the same again. I struggled for years to make sense of what had happened to me in that room that day. I recounted what happened to my mother who I had always esteemed as the most spiritual person in our family and my rock of faith. She admitted to me that while my father attended seminary in Washington D.C. during their engagement days that he had attended several Church of Satan meetings while “researching a paper”. Whether this has anything to do with what happened to me that day I do not know. (But interestingly, I have since heard of the “lascivious” spirit that Solomon supposedly conjured up in the Testament of Solomon, chapter 71. What’s so curious is it claims to possess men, whom it cannot destroy, with a demon, who causes them “to devour their own flesh”… Every male in my immediate family (including myself) have chewed our finger-cuticles which was a habit begun from our Nana and her mother Nana Zeisloft (my father’s mother and grandmother). I just discovered this text less than two weeks ago.)

As I sat listening to his describing this phenomenon, I got absolute chills running up my spine. My event occurred on January 24th 2000. I dug out an old journal where I knew I had written the account of that day. The following description is what happened to me:

January 26th, 2000 (it had taken a couple days for me to process before writing)

THE EXPERIENCE
I had gone to bed that night late, and throughout the night had a dreams that were all unusual by nature. One dream I had dreamt involved my father and I at a dinner table. The subject or environment I can’t recall but I remember becoming angry towards my father because he wanted his way concerning the conflict. I “told him off” and he got up and left—end of dream. The following dream, I was playing tag with a young woman in my father’s old church. Her identity still alludes my memory. After I drifted back to sleep, I found myself in the rafters of a cross between another (or the same) church and a large theater-house. My girlfriend and I had just seen the musical 1776 (mostly male cast) that night. There was one man on the floor (of the stage) calling places for each character in the show on an individual basis. (Not the way it usually works) I was looking down at this “stage manager” and other members of the cast (all male) whom all stood 20-30+ feet below me (in the rafters). As I began to worry about where I was, I started looking around for somewhere I could go to be ‘in place’ when my characters name was called out. I then spotted this 3 ½ - 4 foot tall glass door and I knew that that was where I was supposed to be. I crawled over to it and could see inside the door lay a small cubicle. The walls were white and the glass door had a small wooden boarder around it. The cubicle was approximately 4 foot in depth, 3 and a half foot wide, by 4 feet in height. I looked and saw that there was a 2 ½ - 3 ft. gap between the rafters and the landing of the cubicle. I cannot remember if the door had been opened or closed when I first saw it. I stepped over the gap and into this cubicle. Sat down, crossed my legs (Indian style); at that moment when I sat down & the man on the floor called out my character’s name (which I don’t know or remember) I felt an energy explode & fill me like water rapidly filling a glass. It felt like a thousand fireworks exploded within me simultaneously. As the presence of it infected me to its peak, my eyes grew inhumanly wide. With these huge eyes that within a second were not mine or under my control, I looked very slowly at the men on the floor who were once ignorant of my presence in the rafters were looking at whoever/whatever I was. With two very stiff fingers (index & middle) it pointed and pressed against this glass door, it slowly pushed the door open. Looking at the men it opened my mouth and in a voice I had never heard from myself that was an eerie, ear-piecing, but not high in pitch and somewhat nasal voice, “Hello there.” “You know who I am?”

ALIEN ABDUCTION
What remained so peculiar about my experience is, for a long time, I did not know what to make of it. I had heard about sleep paralysis and the scientific explanation of what the body and mind are capable of however the details (as you will read in a minute) and timing just did not satisfy. You can imagine my astonishment then while listening to Whitley Strieber’s detailing of his abduction experience and my shock and horror realizing what he was describing was—for the first time ever, over eighteen years later—the exact same thing that had happened to me. It makes no sense until one realizes that the two (alien abduction/demonic possession) can be (or are) one in the same. I had never seen or experienced any “extraterrestrial” before or since that morning. But as I heard Strieber utter these words, the color must have left my face. This is his account of his alien abduction, “I became entirely given over to extreme dread. The fear was so powerful that it seemed to make my personality completely evaporate… ‘Whitley’ ceased to exist. What was left was a body and a state of raw fear so great that it swept about me like a thick, suffocating curtain, turning paralysis into a condition that seemed close to death…I died and a wild animal appeared in my place.” (Communion, p. 25-26) I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Someone was describing—exactly!—what I had felt that day all those years ago.

Then, in a later book called Transformation he wrote, “Increasingly I felt as if I were entering a struggle that might even be a struggle for my soul, my essence, or whatever part of me might have reference to the eternal. There are worse things than death, I suspected… so far the word demon had never been spoken among the scientists and doctors who were working with me… I felt an absolutely indescribable sense of menace. It was hell on earth to be there [in the presence of these entities], and yet I couldn’t move, couldn’t cry out, couldn’t get away. I’d lay still as death, suffering inner agonies. Whatever was there seemed so monstrously ugly, so filthy and dark and sinister. Of course they were demons. They had to be. And they were here and I couldn’t get away.” (Transformation, p. 181)

I—at hearing/feeling that voice—was aware there was an evil inside me that was not expected. I became frightened and horrified. I told myself to wake up in the hope of it all just being a dream…. I opened my eyes… it was just a dream. <wheew> I was back in bed with my heart still racing from when I had heard the voice. I became calm & at peace at the realization of it just being a dream. I rolled over from my stomach onto my back. Closed my eyes. Started to feel myself slip back into a slumber when I felt the presence from the dream fill my body with just as much quickness and efficiency. I opened my eyes at the first awareness of it. I was in the bed. I was laying on my back in bed. It felt as if my whole body was stretched out and pressed down into the mattress. How could this demon from my dream cross over from my subconscious into reality? It made no sense. But it was 100% real! My eyes were opened big in fear again, yet they didn’t feel like mine like before. I only existed in the immeasurable depths of my mind. A tiny small voice inside of a huge cathedral. I knew what was inside me even though it never revealed itself to me for the 20 ¾ years I have been on this earth. I was being possessed. 

 RESCUE
I tried to speak the piece of scripture I had always (growing up a pastor’s kid) held close to my heart, Psalm 23—but couldn’t find any of the words. At my loss, I found that not only could I not open my mouth, I couldn’t even feel my mouth. I tried to cry out for my girlfriend who lay next to me fast asleep. I tried praying in my own way pleading the Lord to rid me of the powerful presence inside me. My prayer as I tried to find the words felt like it was being battled with the presence who fought to keep that voice inside my head mute. 
I began to recall the Lord’s prayer. I said it as fast as I could inside myself, when I reached the part “…and deliver us from evil…” I found myself repeating that over & over & over “Deliver me from evil!” “please oh Lord—deliver me from this evil presence”. 
As I made my plea, I very slowly felt the tight grip on the nap of my neck release, hold, release, & hold again. I could feel a battle being fought. I repeated the line from the Lord’s prayer. Like sands falling from an hour glass, the presence floated out of me. I could feel my body again and my inner voice became bigger and louder. My heart, which I could not feel earlier was beating faster than that of a small bird. I thanked and thanked and thanked the Lord for coming to my rescue. I, still in a great deal of shock, began to become confident that whatever was inside me was gone. This experience was very fresh and weighed heavily on my thoughts in the day that proceeded my getting out of bed. An experience I pray never happens to me again. No one should ever have to feel fear of that magnitude. Ever get lost as a child? Know that horrifying fear that overwhelms you? THAT, is just a small degree of the terrifying fear I had felt that morning……”

To this day I am haunted by that dream and that partial-possession, sleep paralysis, whatever you want to call it. Sleep paralysis can explain some of it but not all. Since hearing Whitley’s account I have read Chris Smiths book Sleep Paralysis and that has also served to confirm my deepest suspicions of what may have happened that day, though it is still somewhat shrouded in mystery. Though I have had many similar trace-dreams I have never had anything like it since. 

 Seeing the movie the Exorcist in my twenties was startling as the only voice I have ever heard like the one from my dream was the voice of the demonically possessed girl from the film. The latest dream I have had was approximately three months ago when I dreamt I had seen 3-4 very tall luminescent blue beings walking several hundreds of yards away from me when I spoke, they stopped (they were walking very slowly with the same gate as the cloners from the star wars prequels), and turned their faceless heads toward me when I began to levitate into the air slowly but increasing enough to fill me with a sense of fear. I simply knew whatever it was was trying to “take me”. As I climbed ever higher, and higher still—being level if not above the Bitterroot Mountain peaks by my home, I began to pray ardently for Christ to end the experience. I woke up and prayed for peace for the rest of the morning. I have learned to start praying more when plagued by such dreams. 

 I don’t know how any of this could be of any assistance to others. But if my story can help bring understanding than so be it. I have never felt my spiritual self squashed down to the smallest speck of my being while something else toyed around with my physical. 

 I will be soon (as soon as my manuscript is finished) going through my old college files as I am suspicious if a particular acting exercise (while playing King Claudius in Hamlet) may or may not have correlated in the timeline of events. This particular exercise consisted of me going into a blacked out basement classroom with the objects strung out everywhere. Per the professor’s instruction, I had to (in my blinded state) make it to the other side and back. He had my classmates play the role of “little demons in the dark” taunting, harassing, and toying with me—psychologically—the entire time. I do not know what to make of it but I am nearly certain the two happened relatively within the same six-ish months of one another. The best way to lose, mislead, and destroy a newly saved Christian is to send them to an American college campus. 

 May God bless those who read this story, as I am still somewhat lost about what it all means, why it happened, and what I am to make of it.

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BUY

Whitley Strieber (3 Book Set) Transformation, The Secret School, Confirmation


Age Of Deceit: Fallen Angels and the New World Order

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Plants and Consciousness

I do get plants have a consciousness. Their consciousness extends to feeling energies and frequencies around them. I see that is why when people sing or talk to their plants, the plant actually grows better. The plants pick up on the human connection, and it promotes health.  I get that when people pick plants, vegetables, herbs, etc, take a moment and have some gratitude. Even a simple "thank you" in your mind can mean a lot. They will feel your appreciation and yield a healthier, and even more nutritious crop. What is interesting if they are part of a collective consciousness with each other too. For example, if you are in a forest and causing harm / destruction, when you enter a different area, the plants feel it and are "on guard." They feel it and pick up on what your intentions are.- Lynn Psychic Focus  
I became aware of a strange high-pitched tweeting sound of excitement all around me.  The sound was one of millions of tiny particles or entities communicating excitedly among themselves. I looked around me to ascertain what was causing this vibrational delightful sound... and then realized the sound came from the trees, the leaves, the branches and other plants. - anon 
My friend said he knew exactly what that noise is because he has heard it heaps of times when he is in the wheat paddock just before the wheat comes into head. He always assumed it was the dry stalks and the wind making the noise, he says that it can get very noisy after a shower of rain. It sounded like a whispering at first and he was looking around for its source, then it became like a little chatter which grew in intensity to the point where it felt very loud. He just associated it with the harvest because he hadn't heard it anywhere else. He said there needs to be shower of rain and warm weather. I might mention he has also told me that animals eat grass into the wind so the plants don't know the animal is coming and can maintain its sweetness. - Steve  
I really believe that, I had a fern on each stereo speaker years ago, and was into relaxation and meditation music, they grew so lush and huge but I didn't click on till my son moved in and while i was at work pumped ACDC music all day. Weeks later I wondered why the ferns were starting to die, I moved them to different areas around the room but sadly lost both. Then one day i came home early and could hear ACDC pumping out of my flat, it then got me to wondering if the  plants had died because of the music, and the volume. - Wendy Dunn
Glenda has a special gift in the garden leaving the Townsville Spiritual Church, I had a spring in my step. "I've found my life's purpose," I told my daughter Laura, 30, as we set off home in June 2004. I had just turned 50 and had found a spiritual connection with crystals at my church. Over the next 18 months, I learnt how to connect with people using crystals, then one day I decided to try something different. Going into the garden I placed my hands on a tree. It took a lot of concentration but eventually I could feel the vibrations running through my body and the tree started to speak to me. "My name is Magnolia," she said. I hopped from one tree to the next finding out their names. Cellyander, Alabaster, Jumping Jack, Gulliver and Alistair are just some of the trees I have come to know. I wanted to find out more. "Where do your names come from?" I asked.

 "Some of us are named after loved ones and others from a past life,"Jellyander replied. They tell me they are here to learn love, wisdom, compassion, strength and, above all, honour. The trees have healing properties. One day I asked Alistair to heal my aching back. "Turn around and lean on my bark," he instructed. I could feel his heat coming out and soon my back was better. I've mastered the art of talking to the trees and don't have to touch them to speak to them anymore, they just comment as I walk past. "Hello, Alabaster," I call to the tree out on the highway. My husband Chris, 60, is supportive. When we're out, he'll stand with me so I don't look like I'm up to mischief. One day last year, Laura phoned excitedly to tell me about the movie Avatar. "I am going to see it," she said. "It's all about the trees being an important life force." I have been talking to the trees for almost six years now and one day I would like to work with the police to help solve cases. Gulliver the tree told me the story of when he was hit by a car. The occupants later came back and burnt the car and Gulliver was burnt as well. The burnt-out car stayed there until I campaigned for its removal. "My heartfelt thanks," Gulliver said. "After being hit and then burnt I am recovering thanks to you. The land is still in danger from the oil spill but time will heal that." I know that people will probably think I'm a little eccentric, but I can cope with that. I have a rare gift and I will do all I can to help my friends of the forest. 


First appeared in That's Life Magazine May 2011



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Talks With Trees; A Plant Psychic's Interviews with Vegetables, Flowers and Trees


Whispers from the Trees: The Book

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The Woman at the Top

Glamis Castle Scotland
Supposedly the most feared person in the world is Somerset Belenoff. People are quite frightened of her and her power.  In fact, no less than Vladimir Putin has called her the most beautiful woman in the world and was quoted saying “I fear only three things in this world; Lady Belenoff, illness and death, in that order.” Her daughter, Karina Belenoff, openly runs a cannibal restaurant in Los Angeles called Hollydale with a private website called People Are Meat dot com, and the British royal court is forbidden from saying her name aloud. 

What does a psychic say about her?
When I tune into this, I get a VERY dark vibe. Everything surrounding her feels very low. She resided in spirit for hundreds of years, and decided she needed to incarnate here in the 3D to get a better control. I get something about Somerset not being her "real" name, but it is the name she uses for public purposes. People know and refer to her by something else on the dark web or in secret communications. I also get that she doesn't experience our linear timeline or age as most humans do (she can manipulate time).  It doesn't look like something traumatic happened to make her this way, she was truly born with a dark life path, and being low vibe drew other low vibe beings to her. In spirit she was aligned with negative entities, and after she incarnated it looks as though she would call upon these beings to help with her mission of fear and control here on earth. It was no accident that she became a person of power and influence, as that was her intent when she incarnated.  The royal bloodlines are flooded with Reptilian and Archon connections, but her's is very strong. She came here to get control of the Reptilians as she felt they were "slipping" or "being lazy." She is definitely someone to watch, and someone to keep at an arm's length. And that is all I have for this reading. You may want to take a moment and mentally cleanse and protect yourself after that reading (I know I am).
Who is Lady Somerset, Countess of Banbury and Arran?
She is the third cousin of Queen Elizabeth II and she is also the current head of the World Governing Council, as well as the chief executive officer of the World Security Office. She sits unchallenged atop the Illuminati hierarchy and she rules with an iron fist. She has consistently demonstrated a willingness to track down and destroy those hostile to her agenda. Her motto is "Debate is required, respectful dissent is allowed, betrayal is a death sentence." Within the realm of world governance, there is no one who wields more power. Somerset Belenoff emerges as a complex and often contradictory character, at times kind and compassionate, often whimsical, but always dangerous. She emerges as a powerful and generous friend to those close to her, and a ruthless enemy, capable of instilling cold, abject terror in those who stand against her.

Elizabeth Somerset Feodorovna Bowes-Lyon Belenoff (born May 1, 1953) is a British aristocrat, born at Glamis Castle, As a child, she was known to spook family members and guests with casual, factual statements about long dead relatives who had died in Glamis Castle, often referring to them by nicknames used for them when they were alive. On one occasion, according to Princess Margaret, when Belenoff was 8 years old she joined a grown-up card game and played extremely well, winning several hands. When the astonished adults asked how she learned to play so well, she replied that she had been playing cards on a regular basis with Earl Beardie in a hidden room within the castle since she was 3 years old. "Earl Beardie can beat the devil at cards," she announced, "and sometimes I can beat the devil too." Earl Beardie is distant relative of the current royal family who lived in Glamis Castle and died there in 1486.

The Countess of Banbury and Arran is the de facto head of an ancient dynasty, House of Wettin, that has ruled over much of Europe for more than a thousand years. The sheer number of aristocratic bloodlines in her pedigree, combined with her charisma and personal magnetism, placed her in a unique position to assume the practical leadership, which is really Europe's most elite dynasty. Affectionately referred to as The Witch of Glamis Castle. Queen Elizabeth has forbidden the use of the term within her inner circle and has instructed that Miss Belenoff be addressed as Countess, Lady Glamis, or Lady Somerset

"Well, I knew the Countess when she was 16 years old, before she was a Countess and before the whole, Wettin, World Governing Council stuff. She was one of the beautiful young people who orbited the rock and roll scene back in the 60s and we were a pretty rough lot. She was called Lilibet back then, sort of a nickname for Elizabeth, which is actually her first name. At first we thought, you know, she's the Queen's cousin, she's beautiful and we like having her around, but you know, we have to look after her, you know, protect her from some of these predatory gorillas around us... She'd go away to school in China, she was majoring in Mathematics, already at university, really advanced for her age. Or she'd leave for a few weeks up to Glamis or to Clarence House (in London) and then she'd pop back into our lives every couple of months and you know she and Jimmy (Page) used to have these friendly occult challenges where they'd sit across from each other and see who could make the other person's chair fall over. Silly games like that, and I remember one thing she could do that Jimmy could not is she could actually, literally drop the temperature in the room. One day we all went up to Hampstead where some of Jimmy's Golden Dawn associates had a big old spooky house. These geezers were former students of Aleister Crowley and they had a new magical circle called The Resurrected Circle of the Golden Dawn or some such shite, and Jimmy wanted to introduce them to Lilibet (Miss Belenoff). Well we get there and there's this intense feeling of dread and darkness, like pure evil in the house and it didn't seem right to bring a young girl to such a place. So introductions were made and we all sat around in chairs like in a circle and she and Jimmy and these 3 old geezers start doing the challenge thing like she used to do with Jimmy. And she and Jimmy had always been about equal in their abilities, you know. Now these old guys were like real old school evil sorcerers and straight away they start moving their hands around in the air and you can see Lilibet's chair start to shake. Like I said, Jimmy and I were both very like, protective of Lilibet so we were feeling pretty bad about how this was starting to go down, you know. Like it was supposed to be a friendly competition but these guys were taking it to another level. Then one of the guys starts making gestures with his right hand like in a choking motion and pointing it toward Lilibet's throat, and you can see it's having an effect on her. So Jimmy and I both decide to get up from our chairs and end this but we can't move! We can't stand up and we can't even move our hands! At first when they did this, you can see Lilibet's face and she has a shocked look but then she relaxes and she gets a smile on her face, like, 'ah, she's regained control' and at the same time the old sorcerer geezers are getting more agitated and gesturing more intensely. The other thing everyone notices is it's starting to feel really f...ing cold in the house. Now you have to remember, it's the middle of July and it's one of those hot muggy London nights, but now all of a sudden it's getting really, really cold. It's not like before when Lilibet used to drop the temperature in the room when she and Jimmy were just fooling around with the occult. This was like, Siberia f....ing cold, and it's getting worse, colder and colder still. And then the old geezers started complaining, 'I can't feel my hands!' Every window and everything made of glass has frost one it now and we can all see our breath - except Lilibet. She appeared to be totally relaxed and no visible frosty breath coming out of her mouth. As it gets even colder the old guys are starting to panic but they are unable to get up from their chairs. Then Lilibet gets a look of complete satisfaction on her face and she stands up and throws her arms into the air and at that very moment, everything made of glass explodes. The crystal in my watch, the spectacles of the old sorcerer sitting on my left, absolutely beautiful, century old stained glass windows, every piece of china in the house, which has been frozen, just explodes in this loud, very violent eruption. One of the old sorcerers had a glass eye and it was just awful to see what happened to it. The old geezer that had been making the choking motions with his right hand had been complaining that he couldn't feel his hands ... and I swear to Christ as I sit here, the bones inside his f---ing hand shattered. Shattered as though they had been made of glass, and his hand was just a bloody pulp. And understand, all of this happened within seconds of Lilibet standing up and throwing her hands into the air. It was like she broke her own spell and shattered everything that had frozen. Then two other things happened at the same time. The room became warm again immediately after everything shattered or exploded, and at the same moment, the radio in the corner of the room came on and started playing that song by The Lovin' Spoonful, "Do you believe in magic, in a young girl's heart...". Then Lilibet does a little spin and a bow with this innocent smile and as she leans down over the old sorcerer with the shattered hand and the one with the shattered glass eye she says, "That, gentlemen, is the way we do it up at Glamis!" The geezer with the shattered hand, his skin is a bloody pulp with sharp bones shattered inside is screaming at Lilibet and saying, "You've destroyed my hand you dirty she-devil!!" and Lilibet says to him, "Maybe you should remember this the next time you try to strangle a young girl." After that I realized Lilibet's occult abilities had progressed far, far beyond anything we had imagined and she didn't need anyone's protection. Later we asked her where she had learned such powerful sorcery and she said, from her friends within the walls of Glamis Castle. Several months later she and I were driving together and my car broke down in a really dangerous, dodgy part of London and Lilibet said to me, "Don't worry Peter, I won't let anything happen to you." That's 25 years ago and to me, to all of us who knew her then, she's still sweet Lilibet.
- Peter Grant
I've met your devil, sir, and frankly I was not impressed. Lucifer is a third rate demonic entity who relies on his biblical fame in attempt to hold onto power. The pathetic fool once offered to give me the world on a silver platter in return for my immortal soul. I told him I already have the world, I have the silver platter and I have no need of his silly trinkets. I told him if he annoyed us further I would take his eyes out, and he left. I was 13 years old..."
- Somerset Belenoff to Reverend Billy Graham


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  • (Some psychics are unable to access this website, it is as if they were protected from it. "..when I clicked the link, you cannot access the info. It is blocked. Very weird, and nothing I've ever seen before.")
  • (First notice you see on this website is "Update - January 13, 2020 - We are back online after experiencing a temporary disruption. Within hours of our site becoming inaccessible, we were not able to access our own website, one of the researchers for this site received a text message that read: "Your site is down. Kindly remove the photo of Zara Tabrizi from your Staff tab and remove the reference to Thalia Sunil. - S. Ling." We've done that, and we apologize to our readers for the disruption. We don't believe we would have been able to come back online if we hadn't complied. It's worth noting that the researcher who was contacted via text had only recently obtained the phone, and it was a "burner" number.")
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Multiple Personality Disorder




I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID, the same thing as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have lived with it all of my life and had no idea I had it. Many people, like me, have a dissociative disorder and live normal lives and have no idea they have one. They may struggle with many problems in life, but they rationalize all their problems away and learn to cope and deal with life on a daily basis.


Dissociation is a process in where a person disconnects from themselves in order to deal with trauma. It is completely normal and anyone who has had any kind of trauma has experienced it. However, for people who have experienced extreme abuse, they form a dissociative disorder. A dissociative disorder does not mean there is something wrong with you, as some might believe, it just signals a need to dissociate in normal everyday life in order to continue to function.

God designed dissociative identities as a protective mechanism to help people continue to function after extreme trauma. It’s a psychological mechanism that allows the human mind to hide away traumatic memories from the conscious mind. It is actually a gift from God to preserve the human mind from trauma. Unfortunately, Satan has also use dissociation to his advantage. He has used dissociation as a tool to create alternate personalities that can be a program through mind control.

As a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse, I have been trained to never speak about what has happened to me. I have actually undergone extremely traumatic abuse and torment to ensure that I would never ever speak about the things that have happened to me. I have had multiple dissociative identities created specifically to have the job to keep me quiet or to relay back to the occult that I am speaking out. I have other dissociative identities that were specifically trained to punish me if I speak out or tell their secrets, yet here I am, telling all of it because of my love for Jesus Christ.

Lucifer wants to keep us all completely clueless and in the dark that we have dissociative identities, or that we have been abused, or that our families have been involved in Satanic worship. He goes to great lengths to keep these things hidden so that we can run the programming to further his Antichrist agenda. This does not mean we are evil or that our families are evil, it just means we are subject to the sin of this world and the gods who run it.

I have come a long way in healing my dissociative identity disorder since I met Jesus Christ. Before I got saved dissociation would cause me too completely blackout while occult loyal alters would completely take over the body. When this would happen these alters would take me to places to do Satanic rituals. I have been apart of multiple covens in the area I live in and each coven would have a specific night of the week for rituals. I would also participate in the rituals for the high holy days of paganism and Satanism, as well as every national holiday.

When these occult loyal alters would take over the body I would have no idea that it ever happened. I was meeting with coven’s at Christian churches to do Satanic rituals with people who lived as Christians. I would be forced to take part in terrible things I would never consciously agree to do. Things such as human sacrifice, animal sacrifice, sexual orgies, invoking gods and goddesses, human torment, idol worship, and embodying Fallen Angels and demons.

I’m not ashamed that these things have happened in my life. Quite the contrary I am excited that I have been sent on an assignment by the Lord Jesus Christ to infiltrate the darkness and come out on the other side so that I could speak about the truth and help set the captives free. I am honored my Heavenly Father chose me and entrusted me to go into the deepest levels of the occult and be able to come out just speak the truth and to give my testimony.

You can’t imagine what pain and torment I’ve been through just to stand up for the truth and speak out about my testimony, but I would not trade one single minute of it for my old life of ignorance. Jesus Christ has transformed me from the inside out. He’s given me hope, freedom, and the greatest levels of healing that one can imagine. Yes, I grew up and a family that whored me out to Satan. I’ve been through more abuse and trauma that the human mind could never even comprehend, but all of it’s been worth it to be in the presence of God and receive His love and righteousness in my life. I’m no longer afraid of what the devil is going to do to me.

I still struggle with dissociation. For example, three months ago I went to see a doctor to get some healing for my body. I got some supplements and vitamins to get my body back into alignment, but I had parts that were trying to destroy everything the pills were doing. They were actually trying to disrupt the chemical processes in my body. Then after a week of this torment, my problems continued. I lost the bag I kept all my supplements in, even though I had left them sitting on the kitchen counter in plain sight.

My dissociative identities were programmed to keep me sick, because being sick means being controlled. It was very disheartening at first to realize I was still dissociating at this level, however, I did not let it bring me down. The enemy is desperate to shut me up, but no matter what he does I just keep diving deeper into Jesus, renouncing and repenting. As a matter of fact, everything the devil does drives me even further into repentance.

Having multiple personalities for most people looks like character traits or mood swings. For me, I might be depressed or suicidal, be extremely angry or mean, or lose regard for things of Christ completely. I might cuss and act like a rebellious teenager or get hurt by everything like a little girl. These are all dissociative alters running the body, but it looks like mood swings. There’s no visible shift or change to indicate you are switching parts. It’s completely seamless, and that’s why most people with DID don’t know they have it.

Some of the symptoms of dissociation are:
  • Forgetfulness or memory problems
  • Difficulty keeping a coherent train of thought without losing focus
  • Forgetting what you are saying or talking about
  • Inability to concentrate
  • easily distracted
  • Lack of focus
  • Zoning out or living in a fantasy world
  • Throwing yourself into a task as though nothing else existed
  • Finding yourself suddenly doing something but you don’t remember starting
  • Driving somewhere and not remembering the trip
  • The feeling of “waking up” as if you weren’t previously present
  • Being in another place or room but not knowing how you got there
  • Hearing stories about yourself that you have no memory of
  • Having an injury, sore or bruise and not knowing how it happened
  • Being in a conversation but not remembering what it’s about or what you last said
  • Missing objects, mail, email, important documents or items
  • Finding missing items in strange places
Dissociative identities are not bad or evil parts of you. They are pieces of your soul that have split off your conscious mind and fragmented by extreme trauma. These dissociative alters don’t know of any other reality outside of what they have been programmed to know and the trauma they have experienced. They were created at very young ages and are therefore emotionally immature. Often times they don’t even get an option to understand the saving grace of Jesus Christ. They need compassion and mercy, and Jesus wants nothing more than to rescue them from the hell they’ve been living in. He knows they have chosen to be loyal to the occult because the only alternative was pain or death. He has nothing but grace for these dissociative identities.

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